100 days without Netflix (and what I did instead)

Allow me to be the first to say that yes, I do realize how incredibly privileged I am to “suffer” from a Netflix addiction. There are a plethora of first world problems plaguing my life, and this one is definitely top of the list. Nonetheless, it is a problem.

Sure, it sounds kind of cute when you joke about a streaming service being your date for the night (right?), but then suddenly it’s your date every night, and gobbling up entire Sundays.

Netflix had become like a needy homebody who just wanted to cuddle all the time and order in. It was like a man with sleep in his eyes who moans, “Come back to bed,” and pulls you back in to the warm haven. “You don’t need to go out with your friends, or book that trip to France, or work on your screenplay in the coffee shop,” he’d say. You know what I’d say to a guy like that in real life? FUCK. YOU.

Yet I’d been indulging this “relationship” for a long time, and was coming off quite the bender. In the last 1.5 years I’d watched the entire Friends series, Breaking Bad, The Wire, Jessica Jones, Mr. Selfridge, Daredevil, The Mindy Project, and finally, Luther. So I went cold turkey for 100 days, with a few ground rules in place:

1. I was allowed to watch a Ted Talk during dinner. There was no danger of me going on a Ted Talk binge, and I took comfort in the fact that I’d be learning new things.
2. I could choose from my DVD collection of less than 70 movies — all of which I’d seen several times before.
3. If I wanted to watch a new movie, I’d have to get my ass to the theatre.

Here’s how I kept myself busy.

1. Went to a board game café.
2. Bought my old favourite chocolate bar for the first time in years. It tasted like my childhood.
3. Stayed out until the sun came up.
4. Went to a shoe cobbler for the first time.
5. Suntanned at the beach.
6. Read an article called “24 times The Office was just too much to
   handle” and wept at my desk in the middle of the day. I contemplated watching the entire series that weekend, and then didn’t.
7. Shopped at an arts and crafts store for the first time in over 10 years.
8. Kicked ass at foosball.
9. Watched my Bridget Jones’ Diary DVD. There’s something so wholesome about trying to fast forward through previews and getting that “This operation is prohibited” message.
10. Discovered hot yoga is a little too hot for me.
11. Tried Mexican & Korean fusion food.
12. Went out dancing.
13. Reaffirmed that I’m not a baker.
14. Blogged after a 2-month hiatus.
15. Bought the perfect lipstick.
16. Went rock climbing.
17. Had pumpkin waffles.
18. Booked my flight to Vegas to watch one of my best friends get married.
19. Washed dishes while dancing to Motown. Only spilled a moderate amount of water.
20. Ditched the bar to go back to my friend’s place and played “Heads Up” until 4:00 am.
21. Worked a 63-hour week. Hey, I never said it was all fun and games.
22. Had a street performer make up a song about me on the spot. The only rhyme he could think of for my name was “Ani the Tranny”.
23. Won my first game of bocce ball.
24. Saw a naturopath.
25. Had the best duck confit of my entire life.
26. Took naps — both purposeful and accidental.
27. Went to a Wine and Spirits Festival.
28. Did my taxes by myself for the first time and only had about 7 baby heart attacks.
29. Tried growing basil. The operative word here is tried.
30. Learned how to sign 83 words in ASL.
31. Hired a maid to clean my place. Made the fatal mistake of booking her for 8:30 on a Sunday after a drunk night out on Saturday. DON’T YOU DARE JUDGE ME, MEGHAN.
32. Listened to Vivaldi while eating a double peanut butter popsicle.
33. Had an actual phone conversation with a guy for 12 WHOLE MINUTES before being asked out. Felt like high school all over again.
34. Had awkward first-date drinks at a bar that used to be a church.
35. Revamped my dating profile and started testing variables to see what pulled better numbers. See, I learn things at work.
36. Hit my personal dating best: 3 dates in one week.
37. Reaffirmed that I hate online dating, and cancelled my subscription.
38. Signed up to learn basic coding.
39. Tried 13 new restaurants and 4 new bars.
40. Saw 3 movies in theatre.
41. Read 2 books.
42. Lay down by the water, basking in the sunlight.
43. Went to a barbecue at a friend’s place. Mingled awkwardly.
44. Went to physiotherapy for an old injury.
45. Had the most fun Sunday night of my life. It started with a last-minute invite to see Robyn in concert and ended at 3am with shots, pizza, and giving my number to a bisexual man that my friend connected with on Grindr.
46. Went for brunch. Ricotta pancakes with lemon curd and blueberries.
47. Watched Ted Talks.
48. Went to 8 exercise classes including yoga, pilates and barre.
49. Beamed with pride as I watched my friend speak on a panel. Afterwards I made a feeble attempt at networking.
50. While stuffing my face with a hot dog, got hit on by a guy who thought I was 10 years younger than I actually am.
51. Got a free meal after eating raw chicken. Nothing makes you feel alive like wondering if you’ll be dead the next day, trying to kill salmonella babies in your tummy by drinking shitloads of bourbon.
52. Pimped out my balcony with a new bistro set, candles, plants and lights.
53. Saw an artsy French film by myself. Proud to say I despised it.
54. Continued the annual tradition of going to Red Lobster with my friend. This year was the drunk edition.
55. Discovered an amazing Thai restaurant in the city and had orgasm-inducing spring rolls.
56. Had a Seinfeld/Frasier/Golden Girls box set marathon with my friend, complete with wine, sweets, and cheese and crackers.
57. Drank wine at the park with a friend.
58. Also went to the park sober. Painted my nails, and did a lot of creepy puppy-watching.
59. For the first time in YEARS I played softball and actually hit the ball. It felt great.
60. Introduced a very sheltered person to Empire Records.
61. Witnessed the Toronto phenomenon “Zanta.” This homeless man is famous for wearing a Santa hat and being super ripped, because he antagonizes people by aggressively doing pushups while yelling at them.
62. Made 3-ingredient pancakes.
63. Played a Eurovision drinking game. Times to drink included: when fireworks went off, when the announcer said something annoying, and when singers winked or pointed at the camera. Shit got real pretty fast.
64. Went to a friend’s birthday party, had more drinks and was the last woman standing, even after said Eurovision drinking game.
65. Went to a BeerProv comedy show.
66. Watched every episode of A Show with Ze Frank that I could find. Consequently, realized how much I miss his wild, unblinking eyes, and his honesty that was everything from hilarious to heartbreaking. To this day, it remains one of the truest displays of humanity I’ve ever seen.
67. Painted pottery. It was hideous.
68. Walked into a bar just to do a shot of tequila.
69. Booked off a Friday and went away for a girls’ weekend.
70. Listened to my first podcast. I smiled the whole way to work, with Elizabeth Gilbert’s ever-inspiring voice in my ears.
71. Tried nail art; turned my fingernails into cute (albeit smudged) watermelons.
72. Hiked up Blue Mountain.
73. Walked into a vinyl record store and pretended I owned a record player at home. I wanted to know what it felt like to wander through this foreign world, touching torn covers and ragged edges. I wanted to sift and sort through old records, and feel the weight of them tilt and fall into my hands.
74. Accidentally slept until noon on a work day. Did not get fired.
75. Went camping.
76. Watched Seeking a Friend for the End of the World and sobbed uncontrollably, even though I’ve seen it before. The perks of having a bad memory.
77. Played beer pong. Cannot remember who won.
78. Played giant, life-size beer pong with “cups” the size of garbage cans. Definitely won.
79. Organized a kick-ass Princess Bride-themed bridal shower, complete with a “Battle of Wits” trivia game, a scavenger hunt for a bottle of iocane powder, and a visit from the Dread Pirate Roberts.
80. Went to a National Geographic talk and heard the incredible story behind the Spinosauras dinosaur. It had it all: World War 2, Nazis, a mysterious mustached man, scorpions and snakes, an Italian fossil collector. And you know, dinosaurs.
81. Went to Tacofest.
82. Met my friend’s newborn baby.
83. Walked barefoot down one of the busiest streets of Toronto.
84. Went to a Second City show and laughed uncontrollably.
85. Had a games night and played Clue. (In case you were wondering, it was Professor Peacock with the lead pipe in the lounge.)
86. Had an incredible 4-hour first date.
87. Faced a huge fear and rode on the back of a motorcycle.
88. Shared a kiss at dusk.
89. Consistently dated someone for a month.
90. Saw Lisa Loeb in concert.
91. Saw Weezer in concert. Apparently I really love the 90s.
92. Spontaneously shared a hot tub with friends we made at the bar until almost 6am.
93. Had my heart demolished. In public.
94. Got a haircut.
95. Had dinner on my balcony by myself. No music, no book, no phone. Just me, my meal and the sounds of the city.
96. Spoke to my friend on the phone for 3 hours, just like we used to do in
    high school.
97. Bought myself fresh flowers and put them in my “vase” (aka my giant beer mug).
98. Like every other Canadian, called in to a radio station to try and win Tragically Hip tickets.
99. Sat at a patio by myself. Had a blood-orange cosmo and a piece of strawberry-rhubarb pie as I read my book.
100. Wrote this article.

In short, I ate, drank, cooked and baked, I read, wrote, danced, and spent time in the sun. I got hurt and got up, spent time alone and with friends. I relived and remembered. I was spontaneous, organized and very uncomfortable. I learned and listened, I played and won, I kissed and cried.

I did all these things not just because I suddenly had all this free time, but because when you cut yourself off from one energy source in your life, you open yourself up to others. You make a break, and suddenly all these wonderful other things start to seep in through the cracks.